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The Sky Tower is the tallest structure in the Southern Hemisphere. Take that, Brazil! You may have 4 World Cups, but you don't have the tallest thing in the hemisphere! Looooossseerrrsss!! Blehehahah!!!
Sky City is a slice of Vegas. It has a casino, a hotel and the Sky Tower, making it officially
the instrument of Nevada's plot for global domination (which unfortunately, pits it in direct
conflict with Canada and Japan, so they have to disguise their instruments as something touristy
built by a local, or at least non-Nevadan company)
How evil is the Nevadan plot for global domination? Well I wasted 3 shots on crappy pictures of the night-time light up!! The least screwed up one is right here, and it looks like a giant upright condom...
Once you get to the top, it really looks great. There's even some areas where the floor is made of thick plexiglass and a sign claims it's as strong as the concrete floor. Yes, it really is. Oh all right, it's only half the strength. You guys don't believe me?? OK OK!! It can only take people up to 100kg ALL RIGHT?? Which was why a fat Dutch guy who was loaded up with beer broke the glass and got himself stuck in the hole in the floor left by the glass panel. How about that? Both doomed and saved by your fat.
Here is the picture I took standing on the glass, looking down
with my legs spread apart so they wouldn't block the amazing view of a sidewalk, a road and
a few cars. It had 2 effects. First, I realised that I wouldn't have been able to take that
picture without my $300 Canon SLR (Which is exactly the same model as the one used by Peter
Parker in the beginning of the Spider-Man movie, except that the knob is a little different.),
since those cheap everything-automatic types would have used flash, reflecting off the glass,
and besides, have sucky zoom.
And then I realised just how crap the picture was, and I wasted my film. Third, the position of my legs prompted a hooker to run up, give me a ten second blowjob and then demand NZ$10, I gave her S$3 and said it was worth 4 times as much in New Zealand. And fourth, I now know that I'm bad at basic Maths, despite the fact I got an A2 in the mid-years.
Meanwhile at the souvenir stand, a guy was aruging vehemently that no fridge magnet, no matter how much it resembles the tallest man-made thing south of the Equator, is worth $6.99 or 3 easy $2.99 payments over a period of 12 months.
"This is highway robbery!!"
"Well sir, if that's how you feel, you may want to consider something else. What about this
magnet that looks like a martini with the Sky Tower as the toothpick?"
"NO!! MY PARENTS ARE VISITING FROM PERTH AND I WANT TO GIVE THEM SOMETHING SIMPLE AND MEMORABLE!"
(Then why don't you set up a bungee jump from the top of the tower? They said they'd start selling
it for $100 a jump in June 2002...)
"I'm sorry sir, but unless you want the postcard, that's the cheapest thing with the Sky Tower
on it that we have."
"But the postcard costs $1 and it looks cheesy!!"
NZ Teenager: "Excuse me mister, you're blocking the door to the toilet."
"What? Oh, sorry. Now do you have anything reasonably priced??"
"There's the T-shirt, sir, it's 100% cotton and it's $12, or the 100% wool sweater for $24."
"Hmm, nice design... I think I like the colour... Okay, I'll have 2 T-shirts."
That cashier must have gotten a promotion for that, some guy who didn't want to pay $7 for a magnet went away with 2 t-shirts at a total of $24.
There's just one more dastardly edition of my little travel guide of despair to go, hang in there!